With the airline industry struggling with the high cost of fuel, there will be changes that passengers will need to tolerate.
NEW AIRLINE RULES
Attendant: Welcome aboard Ala Carte Air, sir. May I see your ticket?
Passenger: Sure.
Attendant: You're in seat 12B. That will be $5, please!
Passenger: What for?
Attendant: For telling you where to sit.
Passenger: But I already knew where to sit.
Attendant: Nevertheless, we are now charging a seat locator fee of $5. It's the airline's new policy.
Passenger: That's the craziest thing I ever heard. I won't pay it.
Attendant: Sir, do you want a seat on this flight, or not?
Passenger: Yes, yes. All right, I'll pay. But the airline is going to hear about this.
Attendant: Thank you. My goodness, your carry-on bag looks heavy. Would you like me to stow it in the overhead compartment for you?
Passenger: That would be swell, thanks.
Attendant: No problem. Up we go, and done! That will be $10, please.
Passenger: What?
Attendant: The airline now charges a $10 carry-on assistance fee.
Passenger: This is extortion. I won't stand for it.
Attendant: Actually, you're right, you can't stand. You need to sit, and fasten your seat belt. We're about to push back from the gate. But, first I need that $10.
Passenger: No way!
Attendant: Sir, if you don't comply, I will be forced to call the air marshal. And you really don't want me to do that.
Passenger: Why not? Is he going to shoot me?
Attendant: No, but there's a $50 air-marshal hailing fee.
Passenger: Oh, all right, here, take the $10. I can't believe this.
Attendant: Thank you for your cooperation, sir. Is there anything else I can do for you?
Passenger: Yes. It's stuffy in here, and my overhead fan doesn't seem to work. Can you fix it?
Attendant: Your overhead fan is not broken, sir. Just insert two quarters into the overhead coin slot for the first five minutes.
Passenger: The airline is charging me for cabin air?
Attendant: Of course not, sir. Stagnant cabin air is provided free of charge. It's the circulating air that costs 50 cents.
Passenger: I don't have any quarters. Can you make change for a dollar?
Attendant: Certainly, sir! Here you go!
Passenger: But you've given me only three quarters for my dollar.
Attendant: Yes, there's a change making fee of 25 cents.
Passenger: For cryin' out loud. All I have left is a lousy quarter? What the heck can I do with this?
Attendant: Hang onto it. You'll need it later for the lavatory.
It is not what it used to be.
Peace and Walk Good
3 comments:
Bwoy, dem gwaan charge fi everything dem days yah, and di funny ting is dat wid di a la carte approach di service nuh betta.Some a dem airlines remind mi a di minibus dem back a yawd.Any how guess wha, mi soon tap all a dem travel bizness yah, because if oil prices hit $200.00 a barell a dat time yuh gwaan see di airline dem hustle fi every penny,which dem a duh already, but it will become more intense.Mi jus a tan home an do mi likkle farming fi survive globalization and its wrath.Also,mi have mi bicycle ready.RESPECT star!
Bwoy, we joke about it, but it is coming.......and soon too...How are we going to survive all these price increases... Traveling and so many other things will become a luxury...
lol... prophecy? this definitely sounds like something that could happen tho... oh God help us
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