Friday, June 20, 2008

Humour for Lexophiles (Lovers of Words)

Lord, put one hand on my shoulder, and the other over my mouth.

I got these today, and thought they were funny, the lighter side of life.

1. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
2. Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was
resisting a rest.
3. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?
He's all right now.
4. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir
Comference.
5. The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little
behind in his work.
6. To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
7. When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
8. The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was described
as a small medium at large.
9. A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
10. A thief fell in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.
11. Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with
stalking.
12. We'll never run out of math teachers because they always
multiply.
13. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.
14. The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a
number on it.
15. The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on
shaky ground.
16. The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
17. If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your
memory.
18. A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
19. A backward poet writes inverse.
20. If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
21. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
22. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
23. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in
Linoleum Blownapart.
24. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
25. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
26. A calendar's days are numbered.
27. A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
28. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
29. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the
end.
30. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
31. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd
dye.

Peace, Walk Good.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Some Truths Are More Inconvenient Than Others

The rage over global warming and the great Al Gore crusade is producing a few inconvenient truths itself. For a subject that was supposed to be debate-free, global warming is towing a whole tsunami of controversy in its wake, and nowhere more pathetically than in the global warming craze for befouls.(sic) We should have known from the word itself, "biofuel." The more fervent environmentalists are very good on choosing the right words. Put "shade-grown" in front of some ridiculously priced coffee, and suddenly a hit of caffeine is earth friendly.

The go-green business is everywhere. Jay Leno probably owns more cars than G.M., but did you know Jay Leno has a green garage? Rock and movie stars headline green concerts and then haul themselves around the world in fleets of customized buses and private jets. International conferences on global warming routinely fly 10,000 or 15,000 people from all over the world, like in Bali recently, where they meet and mutter about the nasty effects on global warming of jet flights.

The ethanol craze grew out of alarmism and the deep desire of governments, especially here in North America and Europe, to be seen as green. Now, it's clear that growing corn to make ethanol not only takes more energy to produce than it saves on the other end, but the subsidies, particularly in the States and Europe, for such production is one of the factors driving an international food crisis that, as always, is hardest on the poorest people of the world.

The European Environmental Agency has warned that the commitment to biofuels will lead to, I'm quoting here, "the accelerated devastation of rain forests." The commitment to those noble Kyoto targets is leading to some strange results. World food crisis, great destruction of rain forests... who would have ever guessed that saving the planet could contribute to such unenvironmental ends?

I won't go as far as that U.N. special rapporteur who recently called the production of biofuels, quote, "a crime against humanity." Certain U.N. agencies have a tendency to haul up that phrase a little too easily for anything but genuine crimes against humanity. But, in the U.S., in Britain, and here in Canada too, governments nudged or hectored by global warming hype and the constant cries that it's going to be too late signed on to yet another feel-good solution, and it turns out, (a), not to work - the biofuels over their life add more CO2 than they save - and, (b), is driving up the cost and diminishing the stock of food for the world's poorest people.

Don't listen when people tell you there's no debate, even if it's holy St. Al himself saying so. There are a million debates about global warming, and the biggest one of all is whether some of its solutions have the potential to make much greater problems - messing with the world economy in all its interdependence being one - than they are meant to solve. There is much folly and not a little fanaticism in the global warming movement, and unless the discussion of it returns to rationality and real science, we're going to see a few more spectacles - like the biofuel movement - that will cause real pain to the very poorest of the planet because the very richest want to feel that they're doing something about global warming.

I doubt that the most zealous global warming activists will acknowledge the mischiefs and potential miseries that their alarmism contributes to, but then some truths are more inconvenient than others.

(Thanks to Rex Murphy, CBC)
Peace

Monday, June 9, 2008

Divine Intervention is Required

The only hope for Jamaica is Divine Intervention, it is now the Killing Fields.

What is the meaning of Divine Intervention?
An event that appears inexplicable by the laws of nature and so is held to be supernatural in origin or an act of God: “Miracles are spontaneous, they cannot be summoned, but come of themselves”

I have, on numerous occasions, added my voice, through this blog about the serious nature of crime in Jamaica. I have used the word "war", "domestic terrorists" and "termites" to describe the situation and the mindset of the wanton murders in my country.

Is there any among us with soul so dead who does not assert that this country is my native land? Who has not considered that the future and safety of our land must transcend class, race, political or religious preferences?

Alas, my hope is fading and tears run down my face with a tinge of the blood of my father.

At this point in time, it is hopeless to expect that there will be less than 1400 murders in Jamaica by the end of the year. Whatever protocols are instituted now(2008), will not see substantive results until 2011. In the meantime, it is predictable that some 4000-5000 will die before the Killing Fields are laid red with the blood of our brothers and sisters.

What did the political masters do, in the past decade, to curb the wanton murders?

If anything was learned during the past decade, it is how not to do anything or repeat the same protocols, while expecting different results. That philosophy is the thought process of a idiotic fool.

My God, My God, why has thou forsaken my country.

Jamaica has become un-governable and requires divine intervention.

Il est sans espoir

I have given up any hope of Jamaica recovering from the Killing Fields.

Peace and Walk Good.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

An Ode to .........

I have not posted for a long time, as I am still visiting doctors and taking medications.
Needless to say, I want to go back to work, however, the doctors say "not yet".
This morning I woke up, a bit angry, and while having my usual coffee, I looked at her and wondered if our relationship will continue. I will reveal her name later.
She has been with me for a long time and she makes me feel that I am a better person everytime we are together.
She has travelled with me to the eastern end of Canada, to Vermont, NY, NJ, Michigan and to various parts of Ontario. During those trips she has never uttered a whimper, just giving me a sheer joy of having her with me.
She has been with me in the coldest of winters and also the hot summers, and she has never put a foot wrong.
She is bilingual (German and English) and at times when I do something stupid, I would swear that she says something in her native language of German. She tends to gossip a lot, so if I do something that is not right, she holds the information and tells certain people.
I feed her well, and shower her with gifts together with lots of soap and water to keep her clean, I thinks she likes that.
I wonder if our relationship will continue.
When we go out, she still get stares of recognition and praises. After all the years we have been together, she still looks young with gorgeous flowing lines and willing to do my bidding.
Will our relationship continue?
I now ask the relevant question.
Why do some men (I for one) give female names to their cars?
Her name is Charli
Who do you think I was talking about?

Peace